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Adam PT's avatar

Sorry to hear you’ve been going through some dark times. You talk about choice and self-responsibility a lot there. This is also what saved me. When I truly understood I always have a choice, and that all choices have consequences, I started to choose my way out. Applying that logic, daily, plus time and a boat load of patience, means negative consequences fade, and the new positive ones grow because you put them there. You chose them into being (as you did with the negatives). Over time, reality shifts. It always shifts, but over say 1 or 2 years, you could be a different person living an entirely different life. All because of choice. All because you chose differently. Keep on.

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Jon Soto's avatar

Appreciate these words, Adam. I see it all so clearly now in ways I didn't before. Now, the mission is to stay on track so that, as you say, in 1 or 2 years, I can look back and be proud of the choices I made.

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Stephanie C. Bell's avatar

I love your handwriting Jon!!! I also loved this wisdom, thank you so much for being here:

"when you are the problem, you can also be the solution"

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Jon Soto's avatar

Thanks Stephanie. I really appreciate that!

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Jesse Jones's avatar

Awesome insight. Thanks for sharing. 🙏🏿

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Jon Soto's avatar

Appreciate that, Jesse. And thanks for reading 🙏🏾

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Jamal Robinson's avatar

The depth of this reflection and the truth with which you approached yourself is inspiring man.

Big props for showing up for yourself ✊🏽

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Jon Soto's avatar

Thanks Jamal 🙏🏾

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Rio Moreno's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing this! I resonated with every word, every thought and feeling.

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Jon Soto's avatar

I’m glad it resonate with you, Rio. And I’m thankful you took the time to read it. Wishing you all the best 🙏🏾

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Kristin Blasi's avatar

All of this resonates so deeply. My depression hit an all time low recently, with thoughts of ending my life as well. It’s been a huge wake up call to the fact that while some things in life, big things, have been out of my control, my reaction to them is not. And it’s those reactions that have continued to fan the flames of depression. Nothing I’ve tried up until this point has really worked. And now it’s time to change things up, take a good hard look in the mirror, let go of my vices, and get serious about bettering the quality of my life. Thank you for sharing this. It helps people like me to feel less alone, less ‘crazy.’

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Jon Soto's avatar

Thanks for sharing this, Kristin. I'm happy to hear that, like me, you've decided to get things back on track. Wishing you all the best, and thanks again for reading!

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Kyle Dacones's avatar

It’s a good thing to understand what works for you and sharing it with others is incredible! Thank you for sharing the post that inspired this as well bc I am going to add it to my read it later list.

I am going to save it however for the future, particularly during a time where I can be more receptive to it.

I do like that you mentioned personal accountability and making sure you have a healthy dialogue with yourself.

I am a bit cautious about the language around value judgements to describe this sort of rhetorical situation. The situation in which one is forced to choose between this binary of forcing yourself to accept reality in a harmful way. The other choice is to lack value and be nothing. Literally choosing death.

Both tensions of this rhetoric balance the culmination of a persons life into simple good or bad decisions and behavior which might seem good at first but can be counter productive. This type of thinking is raw and driven by emotion which is persuasive but also leads to assumptions and conclusions that may not be considering all of the facts at hand. It’s my personal favorite way to get my ideas onto the page. But usually I circle back or edit them before I move forward with them.

Please everyone, you can accept things as they are and practice radical self acceptance and not have the answers. This is supposed to be helpful for individuals who are struggling with acceptance or emotions that they are unable to process in a healthy way. This isn’t a technique for solving difficult problems or situations. Loving yourself and accepting your situation is not the same as having a plan for how to change it or implementing a PowerPoint presentation to blame yourself for things that aren’t always in our control.

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