The Tides of Change

The only thing that never changes, is change itself

Jon Soto

Oct 12, 2024

To the deep thinkers,

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The more we age, the more we fight the tides of change.

We build cocoons of comfort for ourselves and try desperately to fortify these cocoons every chance we get.

But the longer we stay in these shells, the more they start to resemble coffins. And these coffins keep us stagnant as we clutch to yesterday or any moment in the past when life was more comfortable.

However, the path toward growth and a meaningful life isn’t a comfortable one. There will be peaks and valleys, moments of triumph followed by seasons of feeling absolutely powerless.

It’s all a part of the experience. The more we fight change, the more disturbed we’ll be when the seasons in our lives change abruptly.

As a society, we often give older people grief over their stubbornness and their unwillingness to accept change. But most people—regardless of age—are the exact same way, seeing change as a threat and something to typically avoid.

But the resistance is a big part of the painful aspect of going through changes. It is in the acceptance of the shifts we go through that we alleviate much of the anxiety that creeps in at the beginning.

Change is how we get from where we are to where we’re meant to be. To quarrel with change is to quarrel with destiny.

The only certainty in this world is change. We can fight it all we want, but today is not the same as yesterday. So, we have to stop living in the past. It’s a new day and you’re a new you.

When we insist on obsessing over what was and ignoring what is, the resistance that infects us blinds us to all the potential opportunities that are waiting for us.

The power of perspective

I’ve been a fan of superheroes my whole life. When I was a kid, I wanted so badly to have powers…any powers. Super speed. Flight. Telepathy. But weirdly, no matter how much I wished for powers, I never developed any. Who knows, maybe I wasn’t wishing hard enough.

What I have learned is that humans have their own collection of powers—the kind made specifically to help us navigate our reality. One of those powers is the power of perspective, meaning your ability to create your own point of view, regardless of the obstacles in your way.

The power of perspective is mental and spiritual invincibility.

With the right perspective, in all situations, you decide what kind of experience you’re going to have. With a malleable perspective, you learn to see the opportunities where others might see reasons to despair. It’s also the difference between someone with a growth mindset and someone with a fixed mindset.

People with fixed mindsets are rarely receptive to change. They don’t want it. They didn’t order it. So you need to send it back.

People with fixed mindsets often believe that people are born a certain way and there’s nothing anyone can do to change that. They also view problems as a reason to have a bad day.

This kind of mentality is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s particularly damaging because it pulls us into an abyss that becomes increasingly difficult to escape the longer we sit in it.

On the other hand, a person with a growth mindset welcomes and embraces change. They don’t look at obstacles in their lives as permanent barriers. Instead, they are willing and ready to pivot when it’s time to. They find opportunities and reasons to be grateful when everything around them looks bleak.

Our environment and circumstances don’t have to dictate how the rest of our lives will play out. A season of struggle doesn’t mean a lifetime of despair.

The switch from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not easy. You’ll feel discomfort and resistance. But it’s the ability and willingness to accept and make the most of changes that separates a lot of successful people from those who never reach their potential.

Out of your comfort zone

Life is composed of chapters, and one chapter must be closed before a new one is opened. We evolve through change, sometimes simply and slowly over a prolonged period of time.

And sometimes a major change happens in the blink of an eye.

I, like many people, still struggle to fully embrace change. Especially those changes that are outside of my control. The more I live though, the more I see the value in learning to accept and work with those exact kinds of changes.

If you’re trying to learn to better accept changes in your own life, the following are some of the things that have helped me the most.

Claim your sphere of control.

If something is happening that we have control over, then it deserves our attention. On the other hand, if the event is outside of our control, then don’t waste your time stressing over it. All that anxious worrying won’t change the outcome.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparison is a killer. And we’re killing ourselves by looking at the lives of others (online or in person) and assuming they have it all figured out. Your journey is unique to you. So comparing yourself to others is simply a self-imposed hurdle and distraction.

Forecast ahead.

Change can catch us off guard if we never ponder our next move. Life is ever-changing, but there are moments of calm, however inconsistent those moments may be. These are the times when we should be preparing ourselves for what comes next. It’s good to plan, but be ready to pivot if you need to.

Enjoy the process.

Life is a journey (*rolls eyes*). But seriously, it is. And that journey is more about the process than the outcome because the time spent doing the work typically outweighs the time spent reflecting on the results. When you realign yourself to enjoy the journey, then unexpected changes can’t break you. You might even learn to love some of the changes along the way.

Associate with people who embrace change.

Surround yourself with people who view change as positive. Associate with people who make changes in their lives, and don’t complain when they experience major changes that are out of their control. These people can help you transform your own outlook and even provide support in times of intense turmoil.

Why would we want to venture out of our comfort zones? Because on the other side of that comfort zone is a better version of ourselves. We can’t accomplish everything we were put on this earth to accomplish by resisting change. It’s impossible.

Your environment will change. The people in your life will change. You will change.

Honoring your journey requires you to move forward, through the unplanned changes and the discomfort. Embrace the changes and have fun along the way. That’s all you can ever really do.