The Whispers of Temptation

Every day is a fight to do what is right

Jan 11, 2025

To the deep thinkers,

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Imagine you’re standing on the edge of a quiet forest, staring down two paths. One is wide, smooth, and sunlit, beckoning you with promises of ease and comfort. The other is narrow, rocky, and shadowed, offering nothing but uncertainty and effort. The choice seems obvious—until you realize that the easy path leads in circles, trapping you in a never-ending loop, while the harder one, though grueling, is the only way forward.

Maintaining self-control is arguably more challenging today than ever before. Temptations whisper to us like the sirens of Greek mythology, dripping sweet, but tainted, honey into our hearts and minds—and those who strive to resist every ephemeral desire are the ones who truly understand just how hard it is to be a decent person.

Temptation and self-control have been at the front of my mind ever since I came across this quote by C.S. Lewis:

No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it (…)

Does resisting temptation hold meaning only for the virtuous? It seems that for the wayward and self-indulgent, instant gratification takes precedence. For these individuals, surrendering to the siren's call isn't even a question—it’s a foregone conclusion. They may believe themselves free, but they are the ones most shackled by the chains of temptation.

Good people aren’t perfect; they succumb to impulses and darker instincts like anyone else. However, I believe—and I think Lewis was suggesting—that a good person feels the weight of their shortcomings in a way a bad person does not. For those who try to do good, guilt and shame are palpable, and the desire to improve remains strong, even when they falter.

This internal struggle is what sets the decent person apart. It's not their ability to avoid every failure but their willingness to confront their flaws. Unlike those who always value feeling good over doing good, the decent person recognizes the battle within, understanding that temptation is not just about saying "no"—it's about grappling with the deeper forces that pull us toward our more troubling impulses.

This battle is most intense at the peak of resistance, where temptation whispers its most seductive promises. In those moments, isolation creeps in, and our minds conjure rationalizations and excuses, urging us to abandon the fight. It’s here, at this critical juncture, that the true test of self-control develops.

The prison of excessive indulgence

Epictetus, the Stoic philosopher once said:

No man is free who is not master of himself.

I am fascinated with the concept of freedom. Ever since I was a kid, I dreamt of, what I would say now, is a murky idea of freedom. Even my idea of freedom in my twenties was misguided. All I really wanted was to be self-sufficient—and to an extent, being self-sufficient is a solid leap toward freedom and something I applaud anyone for accomplishing.

However, true freedom goes well beyond being self-sufficient. True freedom is self-mastery. It is the ability to deny our desires or the willingness to do what is right, even when no one is watching.

The convenience of modern technology, designed to simplify our lives, has paradoxically made it harder than ever to resist our desires. The result? A loss of sovereignty. A loss of self-mastery. A loss of discipline.

I don't mean to come off as the grumpy old man on a soap box (especially considering my own struggles with self-control). But I can't help that when I look around at the world I see an overwhelming lack of self-awareness, accountability, and remorse. But rather than point the finger at one person, or a group of people (because we are all fallible), we must look at the system. We must look at the influences around us and recognize that we live in a society that feeds on our lack of self-control.

Social media platforms thrive on our inability to log off, while fast-food chains profit from our craving for convenience over health. Even subscription services subtly nudge us into endless consumption, relying on our hesitation to cancel things we no longer need.

Instant dopamine lives in the little rectangles that might as well be surgically attached to our hands: doomscrolling, binging YouTube videos, food delivery apps, one-click shopping, pornography, and on and on. It's an entire network built to keep us coming back for another hit of “good stuff.” We feed off it, while it feeds off us. What we give it—our attention, our mental and physical well-being—far outweighs what it offers us in return.

When we succumb to a system built on over-indulgence—where temptation lurks around every corner and self-control is seldom celebrated—the pursuit of bodily pleasures becomes its own form of imprisonment. In such a state of indulgent confinement, it makes no difference whether you're a millionaire entrepreneur or a working-class citizen, the shackles of unchecked desire will erode you from within all the same.

He who tries to do good

Two historical figures we can use as striking examples on opposite sides of this discussion are Socrates, the founder of Western philosophy, and Nero, the infamous Roman emperor.

Despite opportunities for wealth and power, Socrates remained steadfast in his pursuit of truth and virtue. He was also celebrated for his ascetic lifestyle and philosophical commitment to self-mastery. The most prominent example of said self-mastery came in 399 BCE when Socrates was put on trial in Athens, accused of corrupting the youth and impiety—specifically failing to recognize the gods of the city and introducing new deities. He was found guilty and sentenced to death by drinking a cup of hemlock.

Socrates was offered the opportunity to escape prison and flee Athens, and he was urged to do so by his friends who put plans in place like bribing the guards. However, Socrates refused to run, because he believed in his philosophy and had mastered his own fear and sense of self-preservation. Running would've been a contradiction to his teachings. It also would've compromised his integrity.

Socrates’ choice to accept his death rather than flee became a defining moment in Western philosophy. By choosing to stay and face his punishment, Socrates transformed his death into a powerful statement about the importance of following one’s principles, regardless of the personal cost.

Then, there was the Roman emperor, Nero. Often remembered for his lack of self-discipline, indulgence in excess, and destructive behavior, Nero's inability to control his impulses and desires manifested in numerous ways, eventually leading to widespread discontent and his downfall.

Even in the face of disaster for the people of Rome, Nero thought only of how he could benefit. The Great Fire of Rome in 64 CE was a prime example. Nero used the fire as an opportunity to rebuild Rome in his image, focusing on his personal glory rather than addressing the needs of the citizens. He was a tyrant through and through—cruel and incapable of controlling his temper, eliminating, through execution or exile several people close to him.

Nero’s reign exemplifies the destructive consequences of unchecked impulses and a lack of self-discipline. His prioritization of personal desires over duty eroded trust and stability in the Roman Empire.

Although these are extreme examples from opposite ends of the spectrum, we can still draw valuable lessons: the inspiring and empowering life of Socrates, as recounted by his pupil Plato, serves as a model to emulate, while Nero’s story stands as a cautionary tale about the perils of unchecked self-indulgence.

Nero seemingly had it all, but still wanted more. I too feel the insidious trappings of the Disease of More in myself. However, the pursuit of bodily pleasure and instant gratification never leads to lasting contentment. It only serves to weaken our spirit, piece by piece.

As Socrates said:

If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever.

The never-ending fork in the road

Once you've chosen to fight the pull of temptation, every day will be a battle to remain on the right path.

Those who value discipline and choose to deny themselves the allure of overindulgence face a 'crossroads' multiple times each day, where they must decide whether to stay true to their principles or give in to fleeting desires. It is a never-ending fork in the road. As you peer down one path, everything looks pleasing to the eye. But all that lies down that route are the shallow pleasures that leave one feeling empty. The other path, the path that looks a lot scarier, is the path that leads to freedom. This is the path less traveled. It is the path of the ones who wish to master themselves, the ones who want to break the chains pulling at their spirit.

This second path is far from an easy journey. It offers little joy, plenty of pain, and no shortage of uncertainty. Yet, it is on this difficult journey that you come to know yourself and gather the tools needed to face and conquer your inner demons.

The choice of which path to take is a constant one, and each time we opt for the easier route, we fortify the chains, drifting further from the deepest truth of who we are meant to be.

I say, let’s embrace the never-ending fork in the road. After all, it is through these choices that we build our character. And when we build a character we can be proud of, we create a life filled with purpose and integrity. Each step on the harder path strengthens our resolve, bringing us closer to the truest and most fulfilling version of ourselves.

I've started and stopped healthy habits. I've been a slave to unhealthy vices and I've conquered others. I am more disciplined now than I've ever been at any point in my life. But I am still human, and so, I, like anyone else, fall short of who I want to be. But I've chosen the harder path, and along the way I've discovered two of the most important practices to remaining steady along the journey.

Start with your thoughts

We can't control our thoughts, but we can control how we respond to them. With time, we can even learn to overpower our thoughts. Many times, we lose the battle against the temptress in our minds because we don't have the strength built up to vanquish her seductive call.

It's important to know that you are not the thoughts in your head. The voice giving you those excuses is not who you are. You are the awareness watching your thoughts. You can allow them to come and go, or you can do something with them. Like I said...choices.

Become aware of the voice. Become the observer, watch as the voice inside your head tries to tempt you toward a choice you know is wrong. Rather than using force to fight the negative thoughts through brute force, take a step back. Grinding your mind down with willpower isn't a lasting strategy.

Don't get me wrong, willpower is important, but if you rely solely on your ability to power through temptation, you will always find yourself back to square one. So take a step back and detach from the voice. Lean into your awareness, instead.

Show yourself stern grace

No matter who you are, the world places expectations on you. Whether as a man, woman, partner, friend, employee, boss, parent, or child, society holds you to certain standards. And when we fall short—whether in our relationships or under the weight of these imposed expectations—the world can feel harsh and unforgiving.

That’s why it’s important not to add to the burden by punishing yourself when you fail to meet your own expectations. Instead, show yourself grace—not the kind that excuses complacency, but the kind that fosters understanding and inspires growth, because deep down, you know you can do better.

Do not punish yourself, but acknowledge how things are, and your role in the state of your life, and then make whatever changes you need to make. Punishing yourself is a waste of time and energy, and in its own way, is another distraction.

Be stern but kind to yourself. If you're too caught up in punishing yourself, where is the room to get better?

Keep the resistance alive

Self-control is a daily battle in a world designed to test our discipline at every turn. Temptations, like modern-day sirens, lure us into indulgence, trapping us in cycles of fleeting pleasures and spiritual emptiness.

Self-discipline is not about achieving perfection but about striving consistently to grow and improve. It requires acknowledging our weaknesses, resisting fleeting desires, and committing to the more challenging path—the one that builds our character. Through thoughtful reflection, grace, and persistence, we can break free from the chains of overindulgence and live with purpose, honor, and self-mastery. In the end, I’d rather take the path less traveled, with the hopes of creating the version of myself I can be proud of.