Jon, I love your work so much. I save it in my inbox to really savor so that I don't rush or miss anything. First of all, I didn't know Yeek and was completely mesmerized by his voice, his lyrics, and his movements in that video. The kid of the bike made it all the better!!!! I will be listening to more. of him and feel so lucky to know his work now. Wow.
And this truth you penned is a powerful one lost on too many: "Because one thing I’ve realized is that when we’re kinder to ourselves, giving love becomes easier. So, appreciation for ourselves truly is one of the most generous things we could do for everyone else." Yes.
So many wisdom practices focus on this. When we can love ourselves and find peace within, we can be of most service to others. Suffering begets suffering. Peace begets peace.
Love where your writing takes me again and again. <3
That means a lot, Stephanie. I'm always grateful when something I spend time on feels worth someone else’s time, too, so thank you, truly. And as always, thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts here!
Oh wow, this is a beautiful and painful post because I find it so relatable. Many years in therapy and so many times I find myself doubting if I made any progress at all. But the truth is I did and you did, it is just so easy to take our new state for granted and expect more. It is also funny that we find it so much more noble to persistently criticize ourselves than to be gentle and kind with ourselves, because it's all for the sake of growth and the highest good, right? Wrong, but it's hard to get disentangled from that mess.
Something that I find helpful when my inner critic gets insane is to say: "There is a part of me that thinks I never made any progress", as opposed to "I think I never made any progress". You can give it a name, listen to him or her, make an interview, give it a seat at the table, make it welcome. That is the part of you that helped you achieve excellence in many arenas and it's not bad by default, just gets crazy sometimes and thinks he runs the show. Distancing from that role a little bit can give you some needed breathing room. I hope this helps and I am looking forward to reading more from you.
Milena, thank you so much for this comment and for reading. What hit hardest what was you said about mistaking nobility for incessant self-criticism. You’re 100%, and I’m still working on that. Appreciate you sharing your thoughts here and I wish you all the best 🙏🏾
Hi Jon - I loved your piece as I think it is a common quest - to see our own progress. I find that after 20+ years of this work (I guess I'm an 'old head!') seeing change in the day to day can be hard because oftentimes progress is in the 1 degree shifts - the little course corrections we make from one day or moment to the next.
It never ceases to amaze me that just when I think I've gotten it all figured out, the Universe comes along and throws something challenging my way that initially seems like a step backwards. Until I realize that in that moment, I have an opportunity to shift the way I show up - responding rather than reacting. That's where the growth is, and where it's most noticeable.
I am always grateful for those moments - little winks from the universe that say 'I see you'. As they say those moments don't arise to show us how much more work we have to do, they happen to show us how far we've come.
Giving ourselves space, grace and compassion is so critical in this work. Only then can we show up in that for others.
Thanks for sharing this, Bridget. I agree on viewing progress as 1 degree shifts. It's a slow crescendo, not an immediate shout. Just gotta keep reminding myself of this!
Hello Jon, this piece resonates with me clearly. By coincidence I was ‘chatting’ with ChatGpt yesterday and asked it did it recognise anything about my personality type via the way that I chat with it. We deep dived the structure of my rambling communications which I find satisfying because it provides ‘scaffolding’ for my thoughts.
It said it is highly likely I have ADHD tho equally it stresses it was not qualified to do so.
Your article above really touched me with the internal critic or negative self talk angle that is quite hard to handle for me as I’ve learned over time that not all people have this. I know I should have more / any self compassion but it is difficult to change this.
So this is a real awakening for me, I have no idea how to progress but I also feel this could be a new beginning for me.
Tbh I don’t think my internal setup is as critical / damaging as yours but a massive challenge / inhibitor for me all the same.
I will continue to read your posts as i hope they may give some direction.
Hey Colman! Appreciate you taking the time to read the essay and to share your experience here. I’m wishing you all the best in moving forward with your own inner critic and I hope my future writing will continue to connect with you in the same way.
Jon, your posts are ‘on point.’ I can relate to every sentence you’ve written. The sentences that hit home are ‘I’m so fixated on my failures, or all I have yet to accomplish.
On and on and on, I am shrouded in shame, seemingly incapable of appreciating myself, of ever granting myself any credit.’
I am my harshest critic. Every single day. Every hour. It is so difficult to find that voice that says ‘you’ve been there before and you’ve survived. What you’re experiencing now is no different. Why are you afraid?’
Just when I’ve successfully made it through one ‘roadblock,’ the ‘voice’ returns with more debilitating thoughts. It’s depressing. It’s frustrating. It’s those ‘shadow warriors’ that I cannot rid out of my mind.
Unfortunately, there’s no one to talk to about all this. I’ll also start taking long walks, talk to myself and hope it helps. All I know is these thoughts make me tired. Mentally and physically.
Keep posting. You have no idea how much reading your posts helps many of us. We can relate to every word. Every sentence
Wow. Thank you for sharing this with me, Mohan. Seeing comments like this always fill me with joy, because I feel and see that others are in fact struggling with the same things.
I wish you all the best and thank you for reading 🙏🏾
Jon, I love your work so much. I save it in my inbox to really savor so that I don't rush or miss anything. First of all, I didn't know Yeek and was completely mesmerized by his voice, his lyrics, and his movements in that video. The kid of the bike made it all the better!!!! I will be listening to more. of him and feel so lucky to know his work now. Wow.
And this truth you penned is a powerful one lost on too many: "Because one thing I’ve realized is that when we’re kinder to ourselves, giving love becomes easier. So, appreciation for ourselves truly is one of the most generous things we could do for everyone else." Yes.
So many wisdom practices focus on this. When we can love ourselves and find peace within, we can be of most service to others. Suffering begets suffering. Peace begets peace.
Love where your writing takes me again and again. <3
That means a lot, Stephanie. I'm always grateful when something I spend time on feels worth someone else’s time, too, so thank you, truly. And as always, thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts here!
Thank you for making me feel that I am not alone
I’m happy to hear that, Lexi. And thank you for reading!
Oh wow, this is a beautiful and painful post because I find it so relatable. Many years in therapy and so many times I find myself doubting if I made any progress at all. But the truth is I did and you did, it is just so easy to take our new state for granted and expect more. It is also funny that we find it so much more noble to persistently criticize ourselves than to be gentle and kind with ourselves, because it's all for the sake of growth and the highest good, right? Wrong, but it's hard to get disentangled from that mess.
Something that I find helpful when my inner critic gets insane is to say: "There is a part of me that thinks I never made any progress", as opposed to "I think I never made any progress". You can give it a name, listen to him or her, make an interview, give it a seat at the table, make it welcome. That is the part of you that helped you achieve excellence in many arenas and it's not bad by default, just gets crazy sometimes and thinks he runs the show. Distancing from that role a little bit can give you some needed breathing room. I hope this helps and I am looking forward to reading more from you.
Milena, thank you so much for this comment and for reading. What hit hardest what was you said about mistaking nobility for incessant self-criticism. You’re 100%, and I’m still working on that. Appreciate you sharing your thoughts here and I wish you all the best 🙏🏾
Hi Jon - I loved your piece as I think it is a common quest - to see our own progress. I find that after 20+ years of this work (I guess I'm an 'old head!') seeing change in the day to day can be hard because oftentimes progress is in the 1 degree shifts - the little course corrections we make from one day or moment to the next.
It never ceases to amaze me that just when I think I've gotten it all figured out, the Universe comes along and throws something challenging my way that initially seems like a step backwards. Until I realize that in that moment, I have an opportunity to shift the way I show up - responding rather than reacting. That's where the growth is, and where it's most noticeable.
I am always grateful for those moments - little winks from the universe that say 'I see you'. As they say those moments don't arise to show us how much more work we have to do, they happen to show us how far we've come.
Giving ourselves space, grace and compassion is so critical in this work. Only then can we show up in that for others.
Thanks for sharing this, Bridget. I agree on viewing progress as 1 degree shifts. It's a slow crescendo, not an immediate shout. Just gotta keep reminding myself of this!
Like with so much of this work it’s a practice!
Hello Jon, this piece resonates with me clearly. By coincidence I was ‘chatting’ with ChatGpt yesterday and asked it did it recognise anything about my personality type via the way that I chat with it. We deep dived the structure of my rambling communications which I find satisfying because it provides ‘scaffolding’ for my thoughts.
It said it is highly likely I have ADHD tho equally it stresses it was not qualified to do so.
Your article above really touched me with the internal critic or negative self talk angle that is quite hard to handle for me as I’ve learned over time that not all people have this. I know I should have more / any self compassion but it is difficult to change this.
So this is a real awakening for me, I have no idea how to progress but I also feel this could be a new beginning for me.
Tbh I don’t think my internal setup is as critical / damaging as yours but a massive challenge / inhibitor for me all the same.
I will continue to read your posts as i hope they may give some direction.
Yours gratefully,
Colman
Hey Colman! Appreciate you taking the time to read the essay and to share your experience here. I’m wishing you all the best in moving forward with your own inner critic and I hope my future writing will continue to connect with you in the same way.
Jon, your posts are ‘on point.’ I can relate to every sentence you’ve written. The sentences that hit home are ‘I’m so fixated on my failures, or all I have yet to accomplish.
On and on and on, I am shrouded in shame, seemingly incapable of appreciating myself, of ever granting myself any credit.’
I am my harshest critic. Every single day. Every hour. It is so difficult to find that voice that says ‘you’ve been there before and you’ve survived. What you’re experiencing now is no different. Why are you afraid?’
Just when I’ve successfully made it through one ‘roadblock,’ the ‘voice’ returns with more debilitating thoughts. It’s depressing. It’s frustrating. It’s those ‘shadow warriors’ that I cannot rid out of my mind.
Unfortunately, there’s no one to talk to about all this. I’ll also start taking long walks, talk to myself and hope it helps. All I know is these thoughts make me tired. Mentally and physically.
Keep posting. You have no idea how much reading your posts helps many of us. We can relate to every word. Every sentence
Wow. Thank you for sharing this with me, Mohan. Seeing comments like this always fill me with joy, because I feel and see that others are in fact struggling with the same things.
I wish you all the best and thank you for reading 🙏🏾