This powerful statement on how human nature gets manipulated just couldn't be expressed any better. As a seasoned feminist and psychotherapist, I have yearned to hear this expression of male reality and how to heal all my life. You have touched something so fundamental to all of us. Emotions have a fairly simple trajectory: painful energy in the being must move outward, either through direct destruction or metabolized into healing and real empowerment. You've cracked the code!
Jon thank you so much for so beautifully expressing what so many can’t. Your vulnerable and honest exploration and healing of your own pain will help so many others who are unable to find the words to describe their own. Also as a parent I’ve often reflected on how my own experience of the world impacted my son growing up. Your words resonate and I know they are reaching so many who need it. Please keep sharing your Deep Thoughts. The world needs them!
I find your work so powerful and transformative. Thank you for being here, for speaking so beautifully with love about the difficult things in this world. <3
It's heartbreaking to think how parents don't take the time to see and feel what their children are going through. I think the newer generations might, but the best they can do is try to respond with how they might feel, and not try to explore how their children are actually feeling. My Father was a good man, but there was so much anger in him based on the anger, sadness and hurt he wasn't allowed to express as a child. I was an overly sensitive child, of which my parents pretty much tried to ignore for fear of coddling me too much. They did teach me to be tough, and I'm a woman, but that toughness grew to anger later in life. Angry at making mistakes, angry at life's circumstances that I may or may not have created. Fortunately therapy found me. At that point, I was able to recognize the source and while I'm still not perfect, I can recognize it in others. I recognized it in my husband, also an overly sensitive human being, but because he was a boy, wasn't allowed to show emotion in the same way I was. I see his anger over nonsensical things, the stabbing of his toe, glasses falling out of an overstuffed cabinet, food spilling in the refrigerator....on and on. I'm sure it stems from his childhood. We are good for each other, empathize with each other and react kindly and softly with each other. Bottom line, we live in a broken world. Every one of us is broken, but you find your people. Your people to be broken with and it just makes life a little bit more worthwhile.
Thank you for sharing this so tender! So many men, young and old can resonate! I felt this one deeply! In my own way's I could relate and it sucks you had to experience this! Something that came to mind that I've reflected on overtime but - it's how much parents are so unaware of the damage these things cause. it's a pattern that many don't even realize. There's always compassion for how these behaviors are modeled and projected and yet, how important to heal is. And this writing is proof that you're tuned in! I hope that this reaches more men.
Thanks for reading, Vanessa. And you’re right on that. The damage is 100% real. But so often, parents are convinced there’s nothing wrong with their parenting style, and it takes unpacking the past to truly see that.
Am seventy years and still deal with the childhood that my mother, siblings and I endured. A tormented father who made our lives a living hell of poverty, dysfunction, and needless suffering. At seventeen made it into the Army, spent years after dealing with anger, drugs, alcohol, and confusion. By the grace of my mother who endured more than I could know. Her words of pleading and concern broke through in a constant stream of conscience always in the back of my mind. To let me and my siblings know that there was a way out and to keep trying to be better human beings. It worked Mother, my dearest Mother.
I was bullied in school. There was no pretending to be tough, bullies can sense who their victims are. What I felt during those times was fear.
I don't know what would've happened had I been exposed to more violence - to the level of violence reported on today. The majority of my childhood was spent on other activities and dealing with other worries. Ultimately, I turned out apathetic towards myself and the world. Mind you, I have a bad temper, inherited from my parents, who directed most of their anger to each other.
This powerful statement on how human nature gets manipulated just couldn't be expressed any better. As a seasoned feminist and psychotherapist, I have yearned to hear this expression of male reality and how to heal all my life. You have touched something so fundamental to all of us. Emotions have a fairly simple trajectory: painful energy in the being must move outward, either through direct destruction or metabolized into healing and real empowerment. You've cracked the code!
Jon thank you so much for so beautifully expressing what so many can’t. Your vulnerable and honest exploration and healing of your own pain will help so many others who are unable to find the words to describe their own. Also as a parent I’ve often reflected on how my own experience of the world impacted my son growing up. Your words resonate and I know they are reaching so many who need it. Please keep sharing your Deep Thoughts. The world needs them!
I appreciate that, Bridget. That’s all I’m hoping to do. Thanks for reading, it means a lot 🙏🏾
Mission accomplished. ☑️🙏
I find your work so powerful and transformative. Thank you for being here, for speaking so beautifully with love about the difficult things in this world. <3
Thanks, Stephanie 🙏🏾
It's heartbreaking to think how parents don't take the time to see and feel what their children are going through. I think the newer generations might, but the best they can do is try to respond with how they might feel, and not try to explore how their children are actually feeling. My Father was a good man, but there was so much anger in him based on the anger, sadness and hurt he wasn't allowed to express as a child. I was an overly sensitive child, of which my parents pretty much tried to ignore for fear of coddling me too much. They did teach me to be tough, and I'm a woman, but that toughness grew to anger later in life. Angry at making mistakes, angry at life's circumstances that I may or may not have created. Fortunately therapy found me. At that point, I was able to recognize the source and while I'm still not perfect, I can recognize it in others. I recognized it in my husband, also an overly sensitive human being, but because he was a boy, wasn't allowed to show emotion in the same way I was. I see his anger over nonsensical things, the stabbing of his toe, glasses falling out of an overstuffed cabinet, food spilling in the refrigerator....on and on. I'm sure it stems from his childhood. We are good for each other, empathize with each other and react kindly and softly with each other. Bottom line, we live in a broken world. Every one of us is broken, but you find your people. Your people to be broken with and it just makes life a little bit more worthwhile.
Thanks for sharing, Beth. This line really hit home: "Bottom line, we live in a broken world. Every one of us is broken, but you find your people."
And thanks for reading 🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing this so tender! So many men, young and old can resonate! I felt this one deeply! In my own way's I could relate and it sucks you had to experience this! Something that came to mind that I've reflected on overtime but - it's how much parents are so unaware of the damage these things cause. it's a pattern that many don't even realize. There's always compassion for how these behaviors are modeled and projected and yet, how important to heal is. And this writing is proof that you're tuned in! I hope that this reaches more men.
Thanks for reading, Vanessa. And you’re right on that. The damage is 100% real. But so often, parents are convinced there’s nothing wrong with their parenting style, and it takes unpacking the past to truly see that.
Am seventy years and still deal with the childhood that my mother, siblings and I endured. A tormented father who made our lives a living hell of poverty, dysfunction, and needless suffering. At seventeen made it into the Army, spent years after dealing with anger, drugs, alcohol, and confusion. By the grace of my mother who endured more than I could know. Her words of pleading and concern broke through in a constant stream of conscience always in the back of my mind. To let me and my siblings know that there was a way out and to keep trying to be better human beings. It worked Mother, my dearest Mother.
Thank you for sharing, Stephen. Wish you all the best 🙏🏾
Thank you for this, I can identify with some of it, and so, thank you
I was bullied in school. There was no pretending to be tough, bullies can sense who their victims are. What I felt during those times was fear.
I don't know what would've happened had I been exposed to more violence - to the level of violence reported on today. The majority of my childhood was spent on other activities and dealing with other worries. Ultimately, I turned out apathetic towards myself and the world. Mind you, I have a bad temper, inherited from my parents, who directed most of their anger to each other.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience in school and hope that you’ve found ways to get some of those feelings out through more fulfilling means.